Find Your Way

Monday, February 20, 2017

Fasting to Freedom Day 0

I have become a monster. From anorexia to binge eating. It started as one bite of two months later I am overweight, out of shape, and absolutely disgusting.

The one bite of food has led to nonstop eating and I am over it. I am over food. I am over the temporary excitement of eating my once forbidden foods.

Anorexia brought me permanent joy. I was constantly happy and content. I felt strong and in control of life. I had life. I went around people. I was the thin one in the room.

Now I am lazy. I am the fat one in the room. I am the person who people stare at in the stores buying food. I am ashamed.

So I have prayed and I have decided it's time to get back to me. To get away from food. And to fast. For weight loss, for spiritual guidance, and for control of my life. Honestly...I would love to live the rest of my life anorexic. Here are my goals:

1. Cure the swelling in my legs
2. Lose 40 lbs to get back not all the way to my anorexic weight, but to the 80s.
3. Reset my body

Here is how I intend to do it

10-day water fast MINIMUM (I want to try for 20 to 30 days but I have to see how my body does)
5-day juice/fruit fast (less than 100 calories a day)
Repeat for 60 days

I will stop early if I reach 82 lbs. I am excited for this new journey and will be blogging about it every day. I had my last binge tonight and can't wait for freedom.

After my fast I am adopting a vegan lifestyle. I will be living on mostly fruits and vegetables as I did in my anorexic days. I watched fat, sick, and nearly dead and realized I need to adopt the fruitarian lifestyle. Wish me luck!

1 comment:

  1. Sweetheart I know you have struggled and constantly battled to keep your life. You have always inspired me to be a better person and to strive for a better career for myself. Jessica I love you and I prayed many nights for you. I'm glad you gained weight so your not struggling to live. As a friend I'm going to be real with you. Its not about being thin or fat. Its about being healthy. You don't need to get back to 80 lbs and you definitely don't need to be over 170. You don't have to be vegan. You have to love who you are and maintain a healthy diet with exercise. I love food.! I don't care what anyone thinks about me at all. We all want to be beautiful inside and out, but we are anyways. Portion how much you eat. It's even more unhealthy to just stop eating and thinking you loose weight. It can create more health problems than what you need already.. For your size and height, try to weigh around 125. Or even 115. People will look at you for being too skinny just like they do by being too fat. I'm going to give you my number and you call me. Also I can help you manage your diet by helping you gain muscle and trimming fat not loosing and looking worse. If your in TN come stay with me for a few days. Love you girl. Your friend Michelle Davenport