I have become a monster. From anorexia to binge eating. It started as one bite of cake...now two months later I am overweight, out of shape, and absolutely disgusting.
The one bite of food has led to nonstop eating and I am over it. I am over food. I am over the temporary excitement of eating my once forbidden foods.
Anorexia brought me permanent joy. I was constantly happy and content. I felt strong and in control of life. I had life. I went around people. I was the thin one in the room.
Now I am lazy. I am the fat one in the room. I am the person who people stare at in the stores buying food. I am ashamed.
So I have prayed and I have decided it's time to get back to me. To get away from food. And to fast. For weight loss, for spiritual guidance, and for control of my life. Honestly...I would love to live the rest of my life anorexic. Here are my goals:
1. Cure the swelling in my legs
2. Lose 40 lbs to get back not all the way to my anorexic weight, but to the 80s.
3. Reset my body
Here is how I intend to do it
10-day water fast MINIMUM (I want to try for 20 to 30 days but I have to see how my body does)
5-day juice/fruit fast (less than 100 calories a day)
Repeat for 60 days
I will stop early if I reach 82 lbs. I am excited for this new journey and will be blogging about it every day. I had my last binge tonight and can't wait for freedom.
After my fast I am adopting a vegan lifestyle. I will be living on mostly fruits and vegetables as I did in my anorexic days. I watched fat, sick, and nearly dead and realized I need to adopt the fruitarian lifestyle. Wish me luck!